id be glad to
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You were trust falling into bushes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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