Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
BRING THE BAGELS
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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