:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
