I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
