I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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