I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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