this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
