can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
