im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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