Kareoke will never be a sober sport
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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