Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
And then he peed in my hair
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