I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
