She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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