ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
