i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cut my penus on the lid.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
