I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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