Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
