Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
