so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize