i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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