Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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