Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am spending my child support on dildos
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
