WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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