Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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