she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
