News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
