I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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