im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
