your thong is hanging out like whoa
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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