A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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