She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
