Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
