I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize