i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
