your room smells of hookers.
And success
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
