I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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