Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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