There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
