Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
