I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
