The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
