Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
