Cold hands, warm shart.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
