I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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