small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
