ADVERTISEMENT

• (925): View more from California

  I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.

  (916): View more from California

  You're drunk. Make complete sentences.

  (925): View more from California

  It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.

  Fav 13 2827 1007

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

  Fav 6 1331 3490

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"

  Fav 20 1260 3747

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

  Fav 70 3649 5497

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (415): View more from California

  It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.

  Fav 19 6262 1716

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"

  Fav 1 2354 1023

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (217): View more from Illinois

  I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

  Fav 5 2339 1155

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

  Fav 12 2257 846

  share tweet
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

  Fav 3 1970 677

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (956): View more from Texas

  One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth

  Fav 2 650 891

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?

  Fav 4 615 701

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (206): View more from Washington

  I just need some dick and some jimmy johns

  Fav 4 873 529

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.

  Fav 6 652 517

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.

  Fav 1 222 107

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.

  Fav 0 447 132

  share tweet
  

Randomize