Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006

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  (312): Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006 http://tfl.nu/3jq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (867)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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  (406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up. http://tfl.nu/pzz5
  Replies (26) Good night (7978) Bad night (807)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

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  (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? http://tfl.nu/833l
  Replies (60) Good night (646) Bad night (4503)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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  (516): There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong http://tfl.nu/4bke
  Replies (136) Good night (4261) Bad night (863)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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  (360): I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels. http://tfl.nu/pla2
  Replies (12) Good night (5956) Bad night (1399)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

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  (570): He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander. http://tfl.nu/mcls
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (841)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face

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  (413): I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face http://tfl.nu/hkq0
  Replies (5) Good night (2383) Bad night (715)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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  (206): we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment http://tfl.nu/gn32
  Replies (3) Good night (2199) Bad night (822)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.

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  (989): walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too. http://tfl.nu/do4j
  Replies (16) Good night (3199) Bad night (682)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life

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  (215): From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life http://tfl.nu/t68e
  Replies (2) Good night (1361) Bad night (708)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.

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  (248): Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now. http://tfl.nu/4pf5
  Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (1171)
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  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1797) Bad night (561)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field

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  (410): In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field http://tfl.nu/414b
  Replies (12) Good night (1459) Bad night (745)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.

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  (651): I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk. http://tfl.nu/9vy1
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (369)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever

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  (251): I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever http://tfl.nu/l3up
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (537)

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