I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just come out here and I will go home with you...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
