Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before

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(713): View more from Texas

She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.

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(302): View more from Delaware

This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.

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(281): View more from Texas

In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(843): View more from South Carolina

My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

Thanks, mom, will do

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