NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.