Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
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imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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