i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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