rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
