The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got inside last night via doggy door
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
