Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He just brought a live lobster to the party.