David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Someone shattered a urinal.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2