I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
