He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
