hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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