Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
