Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
