wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
