the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
