she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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