I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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