Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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